15 Takeaways from 2015

A reflective exultation

By Thomas Feng

July 5^th, 2015

This is a reflection of the first 6 months so far of 2015. It’s an opportunity to step away from the demands of being a busy person and for me to look back on what I’ve learned so far; it’s a chance for me to sit and think coherent sentences of prose for a while. I initially thought 15 was ambitious but upon writing this I probably could have written 2015 takeaways - it’s been that eventful.

1: explore & explore more

I often dream about living a “smaller” life in the near future where I don’t need to spend hours in my day travelling to and fro places. But I must not lose sight of my affinity to explore new places and new ideas outside of my normal everyday life.

2: be comfortable with being uncomfortable

This is not a paradox. This idea sprung from noticing how I’ve grown most from experiences which I’ve found uncomfortable and difficult. In embracing those situations and becoming more willing to step outside of my comfort zone, I’ve been able to expand the comfort zone which has consequently enabled me to take on a plethora of opportunities.

3: opportunities open doors to other opportunities

I have been incredibly fortunate to have had many opportunities spring out of nowhere over the past few years, and this has been accentuated in the first 6 months this year. As time has gone on and my personal goals and skills have changed, as have the opportunities which have come up from keeping in contact with my personal network of connections. Importantly, I think it’s necessary to know what skills you want to utilise and develop, or if it’s leisurely, what experiences you want to have in the opportunities you take.

4: say no to things all the time

I used to have a major knack of seeing a free week in my diary and filling it up with all of the things. It built up to the point where I would often have to say no to things, otherwise I would need more hours in a day or the ability to apparate. However, I’ve been learning more and more to say no to new opportunities, no to having jam-packed days, no to attending some social events and yes to more time for rest.

5: i burnt out and it was bad

In fact, I burnt out at least twice these past 6 months mainly due to the fact that I hadn’t really taken a proper break from full-time work or study in over a year. This partly explains the previous takeaway. More importantly, it’s a sign that my very busy lifestyle was overstimulating and unsustainable to my body and work. I need to be more mindful for the rest of the year.

6: being busy is productive and protective

Being engrossed in tasks, deadlines and meetings has provided me with a sense of ease and achievement when I have pursued my passions in life. Having time to reflect has made me realise how comforting this can be, and how being forced to be productive makes you ignore broader questions about life and its purpose outside of work. Diligence is ingrained into my family values and sticking to them is important to me.

7: days turned into weeks which turned into months in a blur

It felt as though time strung itself together into a tiny minuscule grandma knot which couldn’t be untied into its separate bibs and bobs. When people have asked me: “What have you been up to?” I have found myself unable to recall events from days, weeks and months passed, only to realise afterwards that I’d forgotten to tell them about my trip to Sydney; about a frolick in the gardens with friends; or how I’d seen three of my musical idols during my phase of teenage angst in the space of 28 days and how in those moments it made me feel as if I had never been more alive.

8: imperfection is necessary and wonderful

Having previously been a self-confessed perfectionist, I found myself overcommitted to be able to keep up with my very high standards. Simultaneously, I found myself so far away from reaching those standards that I was demotivated to do anything at all. But increasingly I’ve found that in building layers upon layers upon layers of imperfection you can create the most polished, resilient, detailed and meaningful outcome. It may be something you could never have thought of as perfection previously, but that’s the beauty of imperfection: it relates us back to our reality, something which has at times escaped me.

9: i have grown to really appreciate alone time

I’ve recognised how important alone time is for me. I cherish the peaceful bliss of solitude whilst embarking on a long walk in nature, playing music or burying myself in the world of writing and books. Sometimes I need to sit down somewhere quiet and not do much for a while; sometimes I need to have an uninterrupted stream of consciousness where my thoughts and emotions cascade down into a cave where I find myself deeply free to contemplate everything and nothing at once.

10: eat food

It seems so silly but often I am stressed because I haven’t eaten anything all day due to my terrible eating habits. The difference is noticeable from the very first bite of an indulgent meal as I can’t help but smile with delight from how good food tastes. Yet I still consider myself a bit of a foodie who is constantly seeking out new spots in the trendy, hip Melbourne scene.

11: live music is special

I’ve had the most divine of pleasures seeing Angus & Julia Stone, Courtney Barnett, Lisa Mitchell, Ingrid Michaelson and Patrick James live within the space of 6 months. There’s a special unmatched intimacy I feel when I watch someone perform their music: I see what places and experiences their music comes from; I listen to tales expressed through a harmony of words, rhythm and melody which send shivers racing through my skin to the heart, and open the floodgates to a vehement wave of raw emotion.

12: follow creativity

A spark of creativity triggered me to start this blog: a sense that I needed to step outside of the box of perception fortified by years and years of reinforcement from other people telling me that I was a rational, analytical, logical thinker which meant I was suited to numbers and reasoning. I wanted to sew seeds of originality which would grow roots of creativity and branch out to flower fruits filled with my imagination. Following this creativity has achieved that in the most joyful and meaningful fashion.

I also wanted to break the idea that I was a particular mould of person and explore notions of individuality beyond social constructs. That’s what I admire so deeply about art: its innate ability to critique norms and lead discussions of culture and society into progressive, unknown realms.

13: silly, stupid & spontaneous adventures are memorable

One does not simply forget about taking an Afro-fusion dance class at 4am. Same goes for having that nutella scone at 8am after you’ve stayed up all night looking at art installations and dancing. I’ve learned in time that once you stop caring about what other people think of you, you have the freedom to have the time of your life doing anything and everything.

14: I am graced by a supportive, kind and beautiful network of friends & family

Thank you lovely humans for being in my life. The love and support I receive from you constantly keeps me warm and fuzzy inside. You have made many moments and adventures captured in some of these photos all the more profound, all the more crazy, and all the more precious.

With some of you, I treasure every single, little moment because you’re bound for long-term adventures abroad on gap years or moved away to study.

And with best friends, I feel blessed to have such a profound, constant influence in my life who I so deeply care about and who has stuck around for me through thick and thin.

15: everybody including myself needs to give themself credit for trying really damn hard

I’ve been fortunate to have so many things fall into place recently. I made a choice to make my summer career-focused and for a while it seemed that it had only worn me down. But I realise now that the past few years had been very career-focused: a series of attempts to turn stumbling rocks into stepping stones of my life. And incredulously, after have been recently validated as a valued member of society moving forward in the form of being offered full-time work, I have lost the need to be defined by that, because making it through these tough six months is a huge achievement in itself. The amount about myself and others which I’ve learned over the past six months through effort and diligence has been an invaluable blessing to me.