Being patient with change

Thoughts for 2019

By Thomas Feng

January 13^th, 2019

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.

I spent New Year's Eve at Michelle's apartment. At dinner, we asked each other whether there were any resolutions, and cynically we both said they were rubbish.

By 11pm I was falling asleep in bed, but at midnight we looked out her window and watched glistening specks pop in the distance, like supernovas on the horizon.

Happy New Year.

While the new year brings in optimism and hope for building healthy habits, the social construct of time isn't enough for me to make profound changes in my life.

Change takes time, and I've learned that it is more productive to have guiding intentions to help you make it happen, and experience new life lessons along the way. These are mine.

Be bored, be creative.

Towards the end of 2018, I felt inexplicably tired and that was partly because I was too busy being a typical over-committed millennial. I had no time to think outside the box for myself!

I need to have time to be bored again, to have creative ideas which are selfishly for me and my own pursuits. Boredom is important, giving us space to pause and reflect, but also to playfully ponder and explore. To explore new passions, new ideas and new perspectives in our own minds.

Be patient with change

This has been my most important learning over the past few years. I have been craving change: change in career, hobbies, neighbourhood and more. I have an ambition and urge to make things happen.

But you can't force change, not unless it is to the detriment of your long-term goals.

I have searched and been offered opportunities to change jobs a number of times recently, and I have learned when and how to say no.

Go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, and you can't be convinced by yourself or anyone else that it is right, then it probably isn't right. Being patient with change means learning and discovering what you don't want now to figure out what you do want later.

I'm about to undergo a significant period of change (again) in my life, but I am so incredibly eager and excited about it, and I can't wait to share more with you.

Rekindle good reading habits

I would like to think of myself as an avid reader, or a literature lover of sorts. But my reading habits wildly fluctuate: one week I'll read two books and then I won't read for months!

After re-organising my books, I noticed a stack of a dozen books and magazines which I vowed to finish, so this will be the year where I leave no pages of a book un-turned.

In case you were curious, here were my top reads from last year:

Testosterone Rex: Myths of Science, Sex and Society by Cordelia Fine
Dubliners by James Joyce
The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin
On Love by Alain de Botton
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

All of them challenged my own ideas across society, my sense of place and belonging, relationships, science and where the world is going. I highly recommend them all.

Be a part of nature

Emphasis on "a part", because we are all tiny specks on this beautifully vast planet. Yet we are responsible for the significant destruction of nature.

The environment has always had a special place in my heart. I always find sitting amongst trees or looking out to the sea brings me comfort and joy when I am struggling the most. Nature inspires me with its fickle beauty and how everything seems to grow effortlessly.

It invites me to explore and discover new perspectives in old places. It is worth enjoying. It is worth protecting. And we should do everything we can to be a part of nature.

Recycle, reuse, repurpose, eat plant-based meals, compost, ride your bike or walk to places, donate to local environment rejuvenation and conservation projects, use re-usable cups and bags, reducing plastic; there is so much more we can all do.

Don't take life too seriously

And don't take yourself too seriously either. Be genuine to your friends, family and colleagues.

I have found that the best way to not feel caught up in small problems is to do things you love with the people you love. Make small moments memorable and appreciate what you have.

Life is too short to take seriously.

Be kind

Above all, be kind. To yourself; to friends; to family; to strangers. Try to find common ground when faced with difference. Be open-minded to new people. Be respectful.

The world is an angry, divided place which seemingly shouts at us from all directions right now. We need to step back and relearn how to listen and understand ourselves and each other.