Outgrown

An abandoned house of thought.

By Thomas Feng

December 19^th, 2015

There lies an abandoned house across the road from mine. It was sold off a year and a half ago and hasn’t been inhabited since. I trespass out of curiosity; the front door is locked and the windows are covered by curtains which are off-white from dust, dirt gathered over a time of human neglect as I walk up the front. I’m surrounded by pots, plastic bowls and tanks filled with dirt, dried leaves and muddy water. To my right there is an empty garage fortified by a fence made of cobwebs and wire mesh preventing entry. To my left stands a wooden gate left slightly ajar inviting me to come around the back.

The grass is overgrown and the vines have begun to climb the lone tree. The only thing untouched is the hills hoister, pegs still hanging from when the last residents were here. I think about our relationships with spaces and how time changes them. For decades, this was a place where a family would come home to everyday, a place that they loved co-existing with, a place where their lives had been shaped behind its walls.

It is now a space of abandonment with half-collapsed ceilings, empty dog kennels and fading paint. I find it fascinating how a space isn’t a space at all without the living objects inside. The Serengeti is nothing without its wildlife; a house is just an empty place without its people. A person takes only a split second to decide that they’ve outgrown a space, but it takes years until mother nature can reclaim it, let alone overgrow the secrets hidden behind the boarded windows and locked doors. Yet it would only take a person a split second to decide that the creaky staircase should be fixed, that the boards be taken down, that the walls need repainting and that this house is their home.

I know for a fact that I won’t be that person to give that love. After spending an hour sitting against the faded walls on the abandoned verandah, I walked around the back to the local creek to think about how I too have outgrown many things recently: university studies, working numerous jobs, rarely stopping for time to myself.

It is time to relinquish all that is comfortable and familiar: home and study. I know I’m not ever going to abandon my affinity to the family home but I’m ready for a fresh start; I’m ready to un-learn and re-learn everything; I’m ready to create a space for my own self.