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Three things I learned in 2018.

By Thomas Feng

December 31^st, 2018

I wake up and it is December 31. The end of the year already.

I haven't been writing - and I haven't for a while - although I have been trying. Trying to make time to put words down on a page, trying to read books and watch films, trying to see my friends, but my brain has been tussling with an overwhelming set of wonderful circumstances which I will find the time and energy to write about soon.

But for now, I have decided to start a series on relationships. Relationships with people, work, places, sounds, feelings, and more. Relationships with life in its highs, lows and in-betweens.

Selfishly, I'll start with me because I am stuck with me all the time. There are three insignificant things which describe me and what I learned in 2018.

There is a birthmark on my right shoulder blade.

It is round and brown like a chocolate button and has grown with me on its humble crevice joining my arms and shoulders. It symbolises that I am a person who will always look back on what has been before thinking about what is to come.

The past few years have been a cathartic metamorphosis, a grappling struggle in which I fell apart and re-learned to become a new person who is okay with them self again.

Reflection has been more than a coping mechanism. It has been pivotal in understanding myself in how my childhood and life experiences shape my beliefs.

This year, I have been better at learning when they are out of touch with reality. Being good to you means learning how to tell yourself that you are wrong about you.

Three things I learned in 2018.

I have been smoking cigarettes.

There have been moments of stress where I just want to take a break from everything. Enter cigarettes and other questionable life choices. I enjoy the ritual of smoking; shielding the lighter from the wind with one hand, sparking the flame with the other, taking the first puffs as it begins to smoulder.

I think it is important to try these things and have healthy relationships with them. I don't smoke regularly, but I am prone to smoking a couple on a late summer evening with friends.

The health implications make me feel conflicted, and hence why I intend to have less outside commitments in life next year.

Three things I learned in 2018.

I have felt immense joy passing this cat on a weekly basis.

En-route to my favourite local cafe is this apartment window cat. Every Saturday morning, whether I'm seeing my best friend or having a quiet morning I have passed her, and we have started having playful conversations. She's wide-eyed curious and is probably tired of meowing down at me. Sometimes she falls asleep by the sun.

Small moments make life beautiful.

Three things I learned in 2018.

Thanks for sticking by me this year.

I didn't write as much as I wanted to this year, but it's a sign that life gave me countless experiences - good and bad (but mostly good) - shared with loving, patient, inspiring people whom I am grateful to have as friends. I am feeling better than ever, and my heart is filled with love.

I'll see you next year.

Three things I learned in 2018.

© 2026 Thomas Feng

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